BirchLane.net
July 2006
Monday 31
Rachel. Her wedding site is now online.
Sunday 30
Tired. But solved uploading problem to collages--so Rachel's Wedding will be online tomorrow. Then I need to finish Regina's and Erin's. Rebecca's Wedding is this Saturday!
Erin, David, and the flower girls.
Saturday 29
Erin.
Friday 28
Still having an uploading problem to Collages.
Thursday 27
Rebecca and Rob. Strange day: uploaded almost all of Rachel's wedding photographs to Collages and then had an uploading problem; I think it is now resolved. But throughout the day I felt so damn tired, lethargic. Maybe a combination of the stress, the weather, the medicine, the loneliness. I edited photos for Rebecca from yesterday. And started editing Regina's photos. Tomorrow night rehearsal party for Erin and David's wedding, which is Saturday on a farm in Northfield. It should be lovely.
Wednesday 26
What A Day. I finished editing Rachel's Wedding (approximately 300 photos resized, etc--just today), met with Rebecca and Rob for two hours, photographed them; I am photographing their wedding on August 5 in Vermont--it sounds like it is going to be lovely; she found me on Craigslist.
The photo makes me think of Wordsworth and his "Ode, Intimations Of Immortality From Recollections Of Early Childhood." The photo is from a wedding I photographed a few weeks ago. An excerpt from the poem follows:
There was a time when meadow, grove, and stream,
The earth, and every common sight,
To me did seem
Appareled in celestial light,
The glory and the freshness of a dream.
It is not now as it hath been of yore--
Turn whereso'er I may, By night or day,
The things which I have seen I can see no more.
......Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
......The thought of our past years in me doth breed
Perpetual benediction: not indeed
For that which is most worthy to be blest;
Delight and liberty, the simple creed,
Of Childhood, whether busy or at rest,
......But for those first affections,
Those shadowy recollections,
Which, be they what they may,
Are yet the fountain light of all our day,
Are yet a master light of all our seeing:
Uphold us, cherish, and power to make
Our noisy years seem moments in the being
Of the eternal Silence: truths that wake,
To perish never;
......What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now forever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendor in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be......
Yesterday, a friend writes :
i am too tired now to write any text of my own, instead i cite parts of her two entries written in The Grasmere Journal, 1800:
July 26th, Saturday.
Still hotter. I sate with W. in the orchard all morning, and made my shoes. In the afternoon from excessive heat I was ill in the headach and toothach and went to bed - I was refreshed with washing myself after I got up, but it was too hot to walk till near dark, and then I sate upon the wall finishing my shoes.
´July 27th, Sunday.
...We lay a long time looking at the lake; the shores all embrowned with the scorching sun. The ferns were turning yellow, that is, here and there one was quite turned. We walked round by Benson's wood home. The lake was now most still, and reflected the beautiful yellow and blue and purple and grey colours of the sky. We heard a strange sound in the Bainriggs wood, as we were floating on water; it seemed in the wood, but it must have been above it, for presently we saw a raven very high above us. It called out, and the dome of the sky seemed to echo the sound. It called again and again as it flew onwards, and the mountains gave back the sound, seeming as if from their center; a musical bell-like answering to the bird's hoarse voice.
Tuesday 25
Rachel's Wedding. I worked all day editing photographs for Rachel's Wedding website. I'm exhausted but I am committed to having it up over the weekend.
Monday 24
Regina's Wedding.
Sunday 23
Regina's Wedding. Look Park.
Saturday 22
Randomness.
Today's Weather:
Tomorrow's Bride:
Last Year's Picnic:
Friday 21
David. My neighbor David, the gentle giant, asked for a print of this photo (and one of Laura):
Thursday 20
Nadine. Maybe I should photograph Nadine every day; and do for Nadine what William Wegman did for his Weimaraner Man Ray.
Wednesday 19
Tuesday 18
Book News.
A year and a half ago, I took some photographs of a Live Journal friend's tattoos for her. The one on her lower back is the word "Balance" done as an ambigram; it has vertical symmetry so that it can be read in a mirror. The artwork was done by John Langdon. She sent the photos to John Langdon so that he could see his work on skin. Evidently she is not the only one who has had his art on their skin.
Sometime later, a woman contacted John Langdon because she wanted to do a book of typographical tattoos. He sent her contact information to my friend, and she sent the photos of her tattoo on to her. She wanted to use them in the book, so she contacted me and I gave her permission. She interviewed my friend about the meaning of her tattoo, and I understand that is part of the content of the book as well.
The book will be released soon! Here's the link to the book at Amazon; we made the cover! Her tattoo is just above the one in the bottom right corner of the cover.Monday 17
The Answer.
It is the beginning
of telling stories
not the end
Sunday 16
More Photoshop and Uploading Site. Another 400+. At least I am accomplishing something. The site will be at Collages. It is going to look so beautiful. I am almost done with Susie's and this week, at night, I will finish Rachel's--and then weddings to photograph (and get online), July 23, July 29, August 5, August 18, and maybe August 20. Wow. Here's me setting up for group portraits (I got the idea of using my studio lights after watching a famous Hollywood Wedding Photographer on a Weekend Wedding Marathon on TV):
Looks like The Holy Ghost might be entering me in this picture, but I am not sure. I went for a walk today. It was hot: 97. A man rode past me on his bike, stopped and said, "It sure is hot. But not as humid as yesterday. I am working out the poisons--all the beer and whiskey." And he pointed to the different spots where these poisons were located in his stomach.
Saturday 15
Photoshop. I edited over 400 photos today from Susie's wedding--more tomorrow. My wrist is tired. Then I watched:
Wizard of Oz / Dark Side of The Moon
Friday 14
Something a friend writes today about lighting, I found very interesting:
--Stanley McCandless, A method for Lighting the Stage
The difference between an HMI and a traditional incandescent lamp is like comparing watercolor to oil paint. One can achieve the same range of colors, perhaps, but the actual quality of the medium is quite different. By using these large lighting instruments one can achieve effects that are quite simply impossible with 'area lighting.' One of the biggest issue is shadows. Often in American theatre productions one sees a stage floor covered in lots and lots of tiny shadows. These are the result of lots and lots of tiny little lights focused into lots of little areas. This is very common in so called 'naturalism' and yet it is about as unnatural as one can get. When we walk out into the sun at 4:30 in the afternoon, we see a single shadow cast from a single source of light. Perhaps two if we are near a building with a reflective glass wall. But nowhere, unless we are in an artificial environment, do we have the twenty-three shadows one sees on a typical American stage floor.
Now, I am not arguing for an aesthetic that knows only shadows. If everything were like that, it would get as boring as anything else. But, a deeper appreciation for shadow could greatly enhance the beauty and dynamism of the American stage. In some ways this is a political stance. I never watch TV unless I am on an airplane, but when I have the chance my favorite thing to watch is Fox News(or Faux News, in the patriotic dialect). Their lighting designer must be one of the most brilliant propagandists alive. Watch one of their cable news shows some time, it is fascinating. All the anchors are lit so evenly that there is not a single shadow to be found. After all they represent the 'truth' they are 'fair and balanced.' So then they have their Conservative guests on camera who have slight shadows. Nothing big, but just enough to differentiate them from the hosts. Finally you have anyone other than a conservative wingnut. They always, ALWAYS, have a shadow underneath their chin. Minor issue right? Who cares? Indeed. No one cared in 1962 when Nixon and Kennedy debated on television. Appearance in front of a camera means nothing. Nothing at all.
Shadows mean secrets. Subconsciously we know this somewhere. It is an accepted part of our culture. Shadow = untruth. Or at least half truth. We can not believe the shadowed figure as much as our fair and balanced hosts. They have nothing to hide, so we must trust them. I do not believe this was always the case. For shadow means something else entirely. It means Mystery. One need only look at the paintings of Rembrandt or Caravaggio or El Greco to see a strong Western tradition that appreciates the beauty of the shadow.
It is time to reclaim the beauty of shadows. Like Tanizaki did for Japanese culture with In Praise of Shadows, we must relearn the beauty and truth of shadows. They need not be things to fear, so long as we know how to approach them. Batman after all, one of the greatest dark hero's of modern mythology, hides in the shadows. We are afraid, as a culture to look inside ourselves and stare at the void. We are much more content to turn on the television and be told about our fair and balanced world. But it is time for our art to show us that void. If we can not go there unaided, then our art, our cultural subconscious, must be brought to the surface of our attention. We must learn to stare out at the dark expanse of human consciousness and see possibility and potential. We must learn to live in praise of shadows.Thursday 13
Daryl Turns Eighteen. Daryl, Danielle, and I (and Nadine) celebrated his 18th birthday (and my new job) with a bottle of champagne and a delicious dinner of tri-color rotini with a spicy marinara sauce and turkey meatballs.
Wednesday 12
The Unknown. From the journal of Synthetic Zero:
There is a tremendous power (which is not a power that can be owned) in allowing the unknown to flow into and through your life. It may be the single most common and most problematic mistake that we often make is to fail to respect the unknown. Interestingly, while it is always worthwhile to investigate the unknown, it is not possible to transform it entirely into the known --- and if we don't keep that in mind, we blind ourselves.
Photo from last night. On a related note: Frost's In The Home Stretch:
Writing in today's The Wall Street Journal, Ada Louise Huxtable, on "Modernisn, Designing A New World, 1914-1939" (Victoria and Albert Museum Through July 23):
Revisiting modernism today is like visiting a foreign country--a place where attitudes and beliefs are so alien and incomprehensible that the gap between the present's harsh realities and the past's vision of a Utopian world can hardly be grasped or understood. For many, modernism was something visited upon them, unasked, unloved, and un-mourned when its demise was announced in the 1970s. But there was no way to undo the 20th century. The modern movement and modern times are joined at the hip in the most radical and lasting transformation of every aspect of art and life since the Renaissance. (more to follow)
Tuesday 11
Interesting. A photographer, Edgar Keats, whose work I admire posted these Rod Stewart lyrics today in his journal in honor of his "half," his girlfriend. How beautiful, I thought.
Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness
take away all my sadness
ease my troubles that's what you do.
For the morning sun in all it's glory
greets the day with hope and comfort too
You fill my life with laughter
and somehow you make it better
ease my troubles that's what you do
There's a love that's divine
and it's yours and it's mine like the sun
And at the end of the day
we should give thanks and pray
to the one, to the one
Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness
take away all my sadness
ease my troubles that's what you do
There's a love that's divine
and it's yours and it's mine like the sun
And at the end of the day
we should give thanks and pray
to the one, to the one
And have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
You fill my heart with gladness
take away my sadness
ease my troubles that's what you do.And how interesting: Daryl's birthday is on Thursday and when he was much younger and I drove him to the Montessori School, we would always--without fail--listen to a Rod Stewart cassette tape which had this song on it--and at night when I put him to bed I would always sing the song to him. It sounds so beautiful just thinking about it, I could cry.
So, in honor of Daryl, and his birthday, here is a favorite photo of him (Betsy has so many albums which I need to borrow and scan):
Monday 10
Bah.
Sunday 09
Go Italy! An excerpt from an old poem:
Mary Queen of Scots
It is rumored from whom
I am descended, it says here
Questa famiglia originaria della Scoizia
E nobilissima in molte citta,
Ed e divisa in molti rami
The Barone family, my family
Originated from Scotland
Mary's son King James VI of Scotland
Became King James I of England
King James great grand daughter married
The King of Itlay
It is noble in many cities and
Is divided into many branches it
Had many fiefs and illustrious men in court
In the magistrature, in the army
And in the church it was
Conferred high chivalrous honors and
Was vested with the holy orders
Of Malta from the 15th Century
It includes, as branches, the Counts
Of Casola and the Marchesi di Liveri
The title was granted in 1710
To the celebrated literary figure Domenico
Director, San Carlo Opera, Naples
Praised even by Giambattista Vico
In an assembly of praise of him
Made by the Academitrician in 1735
The family is listed in the Registry of Neopolitan
Feudal families and numbered among
The patricians of the Republic of Marino
The Republic was represented in Lisbon
By the Court of Casola and Marchese di Liveri
By Napoleon Barone son of Marchese Pasquale
Who had as his grandmother Maria Filomarina
Of the Principality of Bocca
Title to Alfrede Domenico Barone
Held from 1869-1952 also as the Count
Of Casoli in the Registry of Nobility
Melchizadek descendant of Pasquale
And likewise Alfred my father
Or so the story goes there is
A castle and a title
Or at the very least a story
That belongs to me in ItalyAnyone want to join me?
Saturday 08
Nadine or Bruce. I am not sure who sleeps more these days. Well, Nadine has always slept ALOT and me, I guess I am simply getting used to the medicine. She here sits on a cloth placemat on my dad's dining room table and every time she jumps up on to the table she surfs on the mat--and sometimes surfs all the way across the table and falls off the table; it is so funny to watch. Catch a wave.
Friday 07
Last Night and Today. Tomorrow I MUST finish work on wedding images!
Danielle and I (and Daisy) went for a walk in Nonotuck Park and she spotted this unusual sign:
In this world, there are only two tragedies.
One is not getting what you want.
The other is getting it.
~Oscar WildeThursday 06
A New Card Line. And stationary? Marketed via Suzeco?
Wednesday 05
Angela and Nadine. Angela came over this morning. I was napping when she knocked on the door. I think the increase in medicine this morning made me drowsy. Angela is the woman who gave me Nadine. I love Nadine.
We talked about wedding photography and I introduced her to another photographer in the building.
Knowing others is intelligence;
Knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
Mastering yourself is true power."
~Lao-Tzu
Tuesday 04
Alaina Called. Last night Alaina called. I was reading. It was nearly nine. We talked for over two hours. I should have taken notes. It was like a therapy session. Tell me everything Bruce, she said. And I did. We laughed a lot, too. It felt good to laugh.
The need for power may be at the root of some creative lives. Many artists have told me art gives them a purchase on the universe and their reason for being. Like me, in childhood they often found themselves unable to compete in more socially acceptable ways. Art gave them a place to be. And just as art-power is discovered and developed in youth, it can be lost or discarded in later life. Some see a conspiracy against themselves--parents, teachers, spouses, peers, rivals. Whatever the reason, the power and the glory wander away and are lost. Julia Cameron, who has an excellent understanding of this dialectic, states: "When we are angry or depressed in our creativity, we have misplaced our power. We have allowed someone else to determine our worth, and then we are angry at being undervalued."
With a philosophical attitude, a great deal of latent anger can be neutralized. A better illusion is imagined and put into force to replace a poorer one. Leopards can change their spots--and they can change them again and again. The good news is that the success ratio for creative people is high because we are already in the business of illusion. Psychotherapist Anthony de Mello puts the responsibility squarely where it
belongs: "It's an illusion that external events have the power to hurt you, that other people have the power to hurt you. They don't. It's you who gives this power to them."
~from The Painter's Keys
Monday 03
My Dinner With Danielle. Danielle called today and asked if she could treat me to dinner--a post-Father's Day present, she said. First she stopped over at the loft and she looked at all the photographs from Rachel's wedding. We both found the one below quite beautiful.
She took me to Opa Opa where we both had a beer and a burger. I told her all about the therapist I was seeing--and why. I told her about the loneliness. The feeling of abandonment. I told her about the Psychiatrist. I told her about the medicine I was taking. I told her about Olga. It was good to talk.
Sunday 02
Rachel's Wedding. A beautiful wedding held at a beautiful location: The Carriage House at The Barney Estate. I shot it by myself but I think I would have preferred to have had an assistant with me.
When I came home from photographing Rachel's wedding (around nine), Nadine leaped into my arms (cough cough) and I took a self-portrait:
Saturday 01
Editing Wedding Photographs (and re-arranging furniture). Today I watched soccer, edited photos, went to the doctor, and re-arranged furniture in my loft because I will not be moving.
1970s filter:
