Birchlane.net

October 2004

Sunday 31

Today's Lesson. In church we hear a variation of this story:

Sometimes people ask what it is like being a Christian. I'd like to tell you that it is all fun and easy. But I'm a Christian. I'm supposed to tell the whole truth. And here it is. It is fun to be a Christian because I am God's child and God loves me. And it is never too hard for me because God helps me. But sometimes it is pretty hard to be a Christian. (Lift the cloth off of the pumpkin) I think I can use this pumpkin to help explain. We all start out like pumpkins. We're out in the garden along with all the others. God is always walking through that garden asking if any of us what to belong to Him. When we say 'yes' to God, he picks us up out of the garden. (Use damp cloth to clean the dirt off the pumpkin.) And he gently washes away the dirt. That feels really, really nice. (Pick up the knife) But there is more to be done. You see, dirt was not the only thing we brought with us from the garden. (Pretend to cut around the top of the pumpkin) Some of what we brought back requires surgery and that can hurt. (Lift off the top.) While we were out there in the garden, some things grew inside us. (Take out a few seeds and hold them out to be seen.) Sometimes the others were not fair to us. (Take out more of the seeds) We became angry and the seed of bitterness started to grow inside. (Continue to take out seeds as you talk) Sometimes others let us down or hurt our feelings. We began to feel sorry for ourselves. And the seeds of rejection started to grow. We try to get even with those who hurt us. The seeds of unforgiveness and violence begin to grow inside. (Remove the last of the seeds) Yes, all of this cleaning up hurts a bit. But if we won't let God clean all of this out, it gets infected. And then we really have problems. Christians who won't let God clean out all the junk from the pumpkin patch are really miserable. They have spiritual infections and they can spread them to others. (Wipe the inside with the cloth) (Pretend to make a few cuts with the knife on your side of the pumpkin) I'm learning to hold really still and let God take care of anything that needs cleaning! Sure it hurts sometimes. Put the light inside the pumpkin and light it And sometimes I wonder what God is trying to do! (Turn the pumpkin around for the group to see) Then God reminds me that He has a wonderful plan for my life. He wants the beauty of Jesus to shine through me so others can see the way to Jesus. That's what we are, you know. We are not really better than those poor pumpkins who are still in the garden. We are just a whole lot better off because Jesus has taken us out of the darkness and into His wonderful light.

Saturday 30

Dreams. Last night I had bad dreams but then morning arrived:

And I read the following:

When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the morning light, for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food, and the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies with yourself. -  Tecumseh, Shawnee Chief

This was just shot:

Friday 29

Preparations.

Thursday 28

Family Portrait. I had my first family portrait job tonight. I think it went well and I took well over 100 photos which I will put on a CD for them. Here is an out-take:

While I waited for the family I to arrive I took a few photos out the window:

And I started to work on the list of artists for the upcoming group show:

Group Show, Studio 19
December 3--January 31

Chelsea Harvel
Caryn Drexl
Christy Romanick
Alexsandria Torgemane
Elisa Lazo de Valdez
Angella Roessler
Caro Moore
Melyssa Anishnabie
Ana Ribeiro dos Santos
Miriam Firunts
Sidney Mills
Helena Kvarnstrom

Opening Reception, Friday, 12/3
6--10
Wine, Food, Music

Wednesday 27

Gospel Lesson. Little seeds, great faith.

Waiting for the Red Sox game to start, I practice my lighting:

Tuesday 26

So What.

"The public always likes starts, confusion, and happy endings. But not everything
is cut-and-dried like that. And neither is my music. People will always try to direct
you toward things they like, but you get stagnant that way. Then when they get
tired of you, you're labeled and can't come back with anything new."

~Miles Davis, "So What, The Life of Miles Davis"

So---so what. (portraits, nature, journalism)

On the plus side: This photo was one of the first items sold at the Pioneer Valley Ballet Gala this past weekend;

Outside: Cezanne;

Monday 25

I Miss You. Yesterday, when I talked with my father on the phone, he said, "I miss you."

Printing sales always brought me to New Jersey. I would spend the day in New York City and the night with my dad in Fort Lee. We always ate at The Big Red Tomato. Here is a photo of Charmane and Lillian, two women who worked in the restaurant.

Tonight; lighting.

Sunday 24

Carl Van Vechten. My brother mailed me a book about Van Vechten; it arrived yesterday. I am in awe of  these photographs.

Carl Van Vechten was born in Cedar Rapids, Iowa in 1880. The youngest son of a successful banker and a mother who was a patron of the arts, Van Vechten grew up in a liberal and sophisticated household. He graduated in 1903 from the University of Chicago, his interest in writing causing him to take a job as a journalist. In 1906 he moved to New York and began writing for the New York Times, taking on more and more of the arts assignments. In 1913 he met Mabel Dodge, a wealthy patron of the arts, and through her met the leading artists and intellectuals of the time, including Alfred Steiglitz, Marsden Hartley, Gertrude Stein and Emma Goldman. Between 1915-1920 Van Vechten wrote several books of critical essays on various topics in the arts. In the 1920s he moved on to writing fiction, publishing several novels that were critical and financial successes. At this time Van Vechten discovered Harlem and spent a great deal of time there enjoying its diverse cultural and artistic offerings. This began Van Vechten's lifelong interest and championing of the African-American arts and people. In 1932 Van Vechten moved on to a new career, from novelist to photographer. While he was always interested in photography, it was the introduction of the new Leica camera, portable and using the inexpensive 35 mm film, that caused him to take photography seriously. Van Vechten took thousands of photographs on all subjects but his favorite subject, and the one he is most known for, is portraiture. Many of the portraits by Van Vechten are of friends and acquaintances in the arts world he moved in. Because of his interest and friends in Harlem, Van Vechten took many photographs of notable African-Americans, documenting an important part of early 20th-century American history ignored and neglected by others. Van Vechten's photographic career lasted until his death in 1964 at the age of 83. He created more than 15,000 photographs during his career, attempting to chronicle the artistic world of his time. By the time he started his photographic career Van Vechten was financially secure and never had to worry about commercial success. It was only after Van Vechten's death that a serious market for art photography was established; thus Van Vechten was able to pursue his own interests and personal aesthetic. ~Brandeis University, Special Collections

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday 23

Nature. Beautiful sunset last night:

I like this band--Rilo Kiley. They remind me of Poe.

Tonight there is a pot-luck dinner party on my floor. There are about thirty people going and I am making lasagna. There is also the Pioneer Valley Ballet Grand Gala on the first floor and I hope to run down to that for a bit. And old friend from New York City called today who is taking a three day course on Buddhism at Smith; we are going to have dinner on Sunday night, which I am greatly looking forward to as she is both an artist and a deep thinker, and I haven't seen her in well over two years. Outside today looks like this:

Behind the building where I live.

Friday 22

Chelsea and Studio 19. Chelsea Harvell; probably one of the more interesting and dedicated photographers I have met and she is going to be part of Studio 19's Group Show in December/January and have her own exhibition in 2005. I am honored that she is part of the gallery. Akin to Sally Mann in sensitivity to family and friends; blessed with a deep spiritual vision and, might I add, goodness; closer to Walker Evans humanity perhaps than Mann's sensuality--but yet of both worlds.

 

George William Russell - 17. The Divine Vision THIS mood hath known all beauty, for it sees O’erwhelmed majesties In these pale forms, and kingly crowns of gold On brows no longer bold, And through the shadowy terrors of their hell The love for which they fell, And how desire which cast them in the deep Called God too from His sleep. Oh, Pity, only seer, who looking through A heart melted like dew, Seest the long perished in the present thus, For ever dwell in us. Whatever time thy golden eyelids ope They travel to a hope; Not only backward from these low degrees To starry dynasties, But, looking far where now the silence owns And rules from empty thrones, Thou seest the enchanted hills of heaven burn For joy at our return. Thy tender kiss hath memory we are kings For all our wanderings. Thy shining eyes already see the after In hidden light and laughter.

I wish someone would give ME an assignment; sometimes I feel like I can shoot anything: from flowers to people---I just wish, for example, The New York Times Magazine would call and say "Bruce, how would you like to go to Germany for one week and photograph the new young artists?" Or Vogue; "Bruce, we saw the photos of the young redhead and we would like you to do a short series for us." I need to develop a public relations campaign in addition to the advertising; a way to promote myself to such magazines.

Thursday 21

Nanowrimo. Last year it seemed like a good idea. This year, it is probably a better idea; to keep me focused and disciplined.

Wednesday 20

Is Studio 19 Open Tonight?

"Hello. Studio 19. Are you open tonight?" "Yes." "Great! We found a babysitter. And we will be there in a few hours. My husband and I are dying to see Helena's exhibition. We live an hour away so we should be there around 8:00."

Tom and Nicole arrived at 8:30 (Ed Book from Live Journal arrived at 9:30). It was an exhausting evening but exciting and fulfilling.

Earlier in the day, my brother, Dennis, visited for a few hours. It was at times, I thought, as if we were now after so many years starting to get to know each other again---I hope this is true.

Tuesday 19

To-Do List. When I lean out the window I see this:

And this:

Monday 18

Speechless. Because this e-mail came today:

Hello, I'm the art-buying correspondent for a new Conde Nast home decor magazine and just saw your ad in Art News. Would the correct person to discuss Studio 19 artists please get back to me with name, contact information and email? I'm working on a couple of stories right now that some of your artists might fit into. Thank you, Valerie

 

Think for yourself and let others enjoy the privilege of doing so too.

-  Voltaire
 

 

Sunday 17

Over The Rainbow .

When all the world is a hopeless jumble And the raindrops tumble all around Heaven opens a magic lane When all the clouds darken up the skyway There's a rainbow highway to be found Leading from your window pane To a place behind the sun Just a step beyond the rain Somewhere over the rainbow way up high There's a land that I've heard of once in a lullaby Somewhere over the rainbow skies are blue And the dreams that you dare to dream Really do come true Some day I'll wish upon a star And wake up where the clouds are far behind me Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me Somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly Birds fly over the rainbow Why then, oh why can't I? If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow Why oh why can't I?   ~Judy Garland Wizard of Oz ~Music by Harold Arlen ; Lyrics by EH Harburg.

(church)

(Donna)

 

 

Sunset

Saturday 16 

Looking for an Idea.

I enjoy getting these daily ,,,from Beliefnet.  The past few days br0ught these:

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light.

-  Jennie Jerome Churchill

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.

-  Winston Churchill

The 1990s fitness guru Susan Powter (add copy here)

And the idea? I work with a new model this Thursday; I want to create a narrative series. (add here)

While I waited all day for cable guy I practiced lighting techniques.

Friday 15

Where Inspiration? A friend recently asked me, "Bruce, where do you find inspiration? The easy answer---the brief answer-- would be to say, "I find inspiration everywhere and in everything." But the more I thought about this today, I more I thought the question better answered might be: "Why do you find inspiration?" Some of what follows draws upon letters and entries I have written before, but this time, to answer the above question.

In his celebrated book, The Pursuit of Wow, which talked about stepping out (individuals at all levels in business--in LIFE) and standing out (corporations and other organizations) from the growing crowd of look-alikes, Tom Peters wrote:

Work and business can be creative and exciting. A hoot. A growth experience. A journey of lifelong learning and constant surprise. But, to be honest, I think such rewards will only be yours if you learn to approach your career and enterprise with the strategy I call......The pursuit of wow!

The pursuit of wow. Is this not what I find all day; every day; everywhere I turn and see?

To be astonished!

Tielhard de Chardin wrote: 

Seeing:  We might say that the whole of life lies in that verb - if not ultimately, at least essentially.

Seeing. Above: a path in Central Park where I saw these two men sound alseep.

William Blake called this wow or illumination the Apocalyptic moment. For Blake, the apocalyptic moment was personal and could happen at any time evil is recognized. Revelation and Judgment are internal affairs of the spirit, arising from a clearing of the senses which the artist, by virtue of his imaginative genius, can promote. The true artist then has a social role bordering on the religious. Final Revelation will be "seen by the Imaginative Eye of Every one according to the Situation he holds" and the Last Judgment will happen "whenever any Individual Rejects Error & Embraces Truth."

Maybe we should call it an Epiphany. And, then how is  it is possible for us to see/experience an "epiphany"  all the time. I think we can find, see, and experience an epiphany in the richness of the ordinary day. To see. To be astonished. To embrace truth.

Often, I ask myself "what am I called to do" and "how can I make the world a better place." To paraphrase Rumi; I remind myself: you need to be permanently astonished--this is the real work of religion. Maybe of art. The second thing you need is love; draw upon love for energy. And the third thing is sacrifice--give the drop that is ourselves; we are given an ocean.  To be astonished, to become more like a child, gifts are all around us, be nourished by being amazed--it is a great thing to be alive.

Simone Weil said: "Absolute attention is prayer." Seeing. Astonishment. Prayer. 

We design the world by the way we choose to see it! Yes;  I choose to see beauty and to share that wonder, that astonishment with all.

I am reminded of a speech I wrote and delivered to 300+ people from the magazine industry a few years ago at a Holiday Luncheon in New York City:

THIS HOLIDAY SEASON IS AN AWESOME TIME OF YEAR...
A TIME FOR LOOKING FOR THE BEST IN OTHERS...
A TIME FOR JOY IN BRIGHTENING OTHER LIVES WITH GENEROUS GIFTS.
TWO YEARS AGO I SHARED WITH YOU SOME COMMENTS FROM CHILDREN
ABOUT WHAT THEY LEARNED IN LIFE. AND THIS YEAR,
WHAT I LIKE MOST ABOUT THE HOLIDAY SEASON,
IS SEEING THE HOLIDAYS THROUGH THE EYES OF CHILDREN,

FOR AS WE GET OLDER
WE SOMETIMES GROW NUMB TO THE JOY.
THIS YEAR, I AM REMINDED EVEN MORE THAN EVER
THAT THE HOLIDAY SEASON IS ABOUT MUSIC, LIFE, AND LOVE.
AND IN KEEPING WITH THE TRADITION STARTED THEN TWO YEARS AGO
I AM TODAY REMINDED WHAT CHILDREN RECENTLY SAID
WHEN ASKED THEIR FEELINGS ABOUT LOVE.
ONE CHILD, AGE 6, SAID
I'M IN FAVOR OF LOVE AS LONG
AS IT DOESN'T HAPPEN WHEN THE SIMPSONS IS ON TV.'
ANOTHER, AGE 7, SAID
'IF FALLING IN LOVE IS ANYTHING LIKE LEARNING HOW TO SPELL,
I DON'T WANT TO DO IT.'
AND FINALLY, ONE CHILD SAID
'I THINK YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GET SHOT WITH AN ARROW OR SOMETHING
BUT THE REST OF IT ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE SO PAINFUL.'
LOOKING OUT AT YOU NOW I AM LASTLY REMINDED
HOW THERE ARE TIMES IN OUR LIVES AS FRIENDS
WHEN NOTHING MATTERS BUT CELEBRATION....
I HOPE TODAY IS SUCH A DAY FOR YOU
AND I WANT TO LEAVE YOU WITH ONE FINAL THOUGHT;
IT IS, I BELIEVE,
VERY IMPORTANT TO STOP AND EMBRACE
THE SPECIAL EVENTS THAT MARK OUR LIVES...
NOT THE SECONDS, MINUTES, HOURS..
BUT THE OCCASIONS, BOTH SMALL AND LARGE,
OF GREAT REJOICING...THE SMILE OF A CHILD,
A TEENAGER'S LAUGHTER,
SNOWMEN MADE FROM MARSHMALLOWS,
THE MORNING SKY, MIGRATING GEESE,

A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS,
THE MOVIE IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE,
SNOWBALL FIGHTS, A BABY CRYING,
SNOW PILED HIGH, GINGERBREAD HOUSES,
RED RIBBONS AND RED FACES,

SEEING THE TREE IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER,
AGAIN, WATCHING A LOVED ONE SLEEPING,
CHILDREN GIGGLING,
SO MANY TREASURES TO REMEMBER AND TO DISCOVER,
TO GIVE THANKS FOR, LIKE LIFE, LIKE LOVE,
LIKE YOU, HERE WITH US TODAY.
THE GERMAN POET GOETHE SAID
'NOTHING IS WORTH MORE THAN THIS DAY.'
ISN'T THAT THE TRUTH

Of course, our goal is not to change the world all at once, but of reaching out  with our eyes wide open--seeing; being astonished; mending the part of he world that is within our reach--to bring light where there is darkness.

As Clarissa Pinkola Estes writes in her book, "Women Who Run With the Wolves:"

Any small, calm thing that one soul can do to help another soul, to assist some portion of this poor suffering world, will help immensely. It is not given to us to know which acts or by whom, will cause the critical mass to tip toward an enduring good. What is needed for dramatic change is an accumulation of acts, adding, adding to, adding more, continuing. We know that it does not take "everyone on Earth" to bring justice and peace, but only a small, determined group who will not give up during the first, second, or hundredth gale.

William James writes:

To change one's life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions.

We simply need to be astonished.

Thus, it not really so much where and how, but why.

Thursday 14

Further Inspiration. In today's New York Times, I read:

"For art is always the final generalization. It must provide the implication of infinity to any situation. And if our own environment is too diverse to allow a philosophical unity, it must a symbol to express at least the desire for one. ~Mark Rothko "One can travel the world and see nothing. To achieve understanding it is necessary not to see many things, but to look hard at what you do see. ~Giorgio Morandi

Later in the day, my friend Mo stopped over to give me an invitation to the Pioneer Valley Ballet Opening Gala here at Eastworks, where they recently moved. The Gala includes live music, dancing, hors d'oeuvres, wine, PVB performances and a silent auction. Mo mentioned that a number of collector's photography books published by Steve Albahari would be auctioned and in passing asked if I was familiar with the work of Flor Garduno. I was not--but searched on-line for some information and found these striking images (among many) and the catalog notes below:

Which, of course, reminded me of the shots I have recently taken of Sarah. 

From a press release found here, I read:

Flor Garduño has been described as a "poet-photographer." Her powerful images of native peoples throughout the Americas, along with her symbolic nude studies and lyrical still-lifes, bridge the threshold between the sacred/temporal worlds, and allow viewers to glimpse what Carlos Fuentes called "the moving portrait of eternity." Once an assistant to Manuel Alvarz Bravo, Garduño quickly found her own independence and vision when she made numerous trips to remote parts of Latin America in the 1980s to photograph the lives and rituals of indigenous people. Her book of this work, Witnesses of Time (1992), was published in six editions and became an international success with exhibitions of the photographs traveling to major museums around the world. Around this time Garduño gave birth to her second child, an event which made her decide to change how she made photography. Setting up a homemade studio in a small adobe shed next to her house in Tepoztlán, she proceeded to "return to the beginning," concentrating on still lifes and female nudes. She photographed her women friends, encouraging them to chose their own poses. "This collection," said Garduño, "is the product of a collaboration among many friends. It was a circular process, many of these friends wanted to make their own sculptures of themselves, create in their own images." Enriched by her experiences being a mother, Garduño saw the potential in each of her subjects. "Each figure glows as if it were fervently embracing a promise, beaming with an overwhelming fullness," writes Verónica Volkow in her introduction to the book, Flor Garduño: Inner Light - Still Lifes and Nudes, 2002.

Danielle and Mike stopped over for dinner (baked stuffed clams, steak, salad) soon after Adell and I reviewed the catalog for Helena's exhibition. It IS a work of art and I can't wait for Helena and Katharine to see it---and to distribute it. The catalog ( 8 x 8 square) will also function remarkably well as a direct mail piece/door opener to fine art collectors.

Danielle seems so happy and this makes me happy; and Mike is such a constant supporter of my photography. We had a great time.

Wednesday 13

Affirmation. This morning I woke to find this entry from a model I worked with a few weeks ago:

I had a fantastic and fun shoot with (Bruce) while I was on vacation. We shot some portraits, and took inspiration from a few Flemish paintings for pose and mood. It was a lot of fun - Bruce is one of the nicest guys I have EVER met. So genuine, and so terribly easy to work with. It was very different to be able to just be ME, and not have to be "sexy." Sort of odd, but fun. Very natural. And my clothes did not have to come off! *chuckle*

I think this is what helps me to keep pursuing this dream. And then this came:

you are my hero i love how you photograph real beauty.

Speechless I am.

"Every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other people, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving." ~Albert Einstein

This looks like fun: The Grudge which makes me think of A Tale of Two Sisters.

Oh, and another new friend writes::

I want you to be successful because it's wonderful to see someone with such talent taking the risk and going for it!

Tuesday 12

Autumn.

I read this today and was very moved:

Men at forty Learn to close softly The doors to rooms they will not be Coming back to. At rest on a stair landing, They feel it moving Beneath them now like the deck of a ship, Though the swell is gentle. And deep in mirrors They rediscover The face of the boy as he practices tying His father's tie there in secret, And the face of that father, Still warm with the mystery of lather. They are more fathers than sons themselves now. Something is filling them, something That is like the twilight sound Of the crickets, immense, Filling the woods at the foot of the slope Behind their mortgaged houses. ~Donald Justice

Monday 11

Portraiture. Traveled out to North Adams to take a high school student's senior portrait today.

Her name is Kat. Smart. Mature. Fun.

And then on the way home:

Sunday 10

A Perfect October Day.

Half an hour's meditation each day is essential, except when you are busy. Then a full hour is needed. ~St. Francis de Sales

 

Saturday 09

10:52

12:45

Friday 08

Hello Dano.

Thursday 07

Around the Corner.

I walked along

And then

Wednesday 06

Montreal. I want to go back for another visit.

Tuesday 05

Persistence of Memory.

Monday 04

When Morning Comes.

Sunday 03

I Went Back. I went back to church today, and

As the sunbeam through the glass, Passeth but not breaketh, So the Virgin, as she was, Virgin still remaineth.

Detail: "The Annunciation" after Rogier van der Weyden

Worth considering:

I enjoy the freedom of just using my hands and "found" tools--a sharp stone, the quill of a feather, thorns. I take the opportunities each day offers: if it is snowing, I work with snow, at leaf-fall it will be with leaves; a blown-over tree becomes a source of twigs and branches. I stop at a place or pick up a material because I feel that there is something to be discovered. Here is where I can learn. Looking, touching, material, place and form are all inseparable from the resulting work. It is difficult to say where one stops and another begins. The energy and space around a material are as important as the energy and space within. The weather and rain, sun, snow, hail, mist, calmÑis that external space made visible. When I touch a rock, I am touching and working the space around it. It is not independent of its surroundings, and the way it sits tells how it came to be there. want to get under the surface. When I work with a leaf, rock, stick, it is not just that material in itself, it is an opening into the processes of life within and around it. When I leave it, these processes continue. Movement, change, light, growth and decay are the lifeblood of nature, the energies that I try to tap through my work. I need the shock of touch, the resistance of place, materials and weather, the earth as my source. Nature is in a state of change and that change is the key to understanding. I want my art to be sensitive and alert to changes in material, season and weather. Each work grows, stays, decays. Process and decay are implicit. Transience in my work reflects what I find in nature. ~Andy Goldsworthy

So long ago, it now seems, I took Daryl for an afternoon visit--romp--to Storm King, where we followed for Andy Goldsworthy's wall and admired Mark Di Suvero's sculpture:

Saturday.

The Lift.

Friday 01

Another World.